Forever Paisley

It’s been one of those summers. A summer of celebration. A summer of loss. A summer of endless commitments. It’s been one of those summers where I frequently wonder how my twenty-seven-year-old body has managed to keep up with me. Immersed in a whirlwind of weddings, reunions and cross-country adventures. Confronted with the reality of death, finances and misunderstanding. With the world spinning around me, I’ve had little time to focus on one very important person in my life. Myself.

Bluegrass, backpacking, stars, and road trips. Experiencing, reflecting, writing and creating. Traditional summer themes that not only define the season, but also who I am. Well, it’s August 31st and while I’ve tried to argue, the Gregorian calendar is telling me that summer is almost over. My tent is pale, having not seen the light of day. My notebook is sparse, failing to reveal festival epiphanies (also known as: festpiphanies). My pending life decisions are on the back burner, with no indication of reaching a boil. It’s August 31 and one thing is certain, this summer looks much different than any other I’ve experienced before.

¹dif-fer-ent adjˈdi-fərnt, ˈdi-f(ə-)rənt
1: partly or totally unlike in nature, form, or quality
2: not the same
3: unusual, special

Please note, different is not synonymous with disappointing. While this summer has been exhausting, it’s also shed light on a lot of things. The four bridesmaid’s dresses hanging in my closet symbolize some pretty kick ass friendships. The tough conversations I’ve had with my family have proven that, no matter what, I will always be supported. The pile of bank statements on my desk indicates letting go and moving on. There’s no question that 2012 has been another year of lessons. For that I am grateful. However, as much as I continue to learn, as much as I continue to grow, I always appreciate the opportunity to reflect on who I am (read: my foundation). Luckily a good friend and partner in crime recently presented me with this very opportunity:

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012 at 2:48PM

Hey you…

I read my horoscope and I thought this was a good list of questions to ponder and thus I am sharing with you! I especially like the last question … What makes you feel at home in the world?

Love you!
Steph

What makes me feel at home in this world? As I rise every morning, excited to learn that my body is still functioning, this isn’t something I have given much thought to lately. While it hasn’t been top of mind, I accepted the challenge and later that evening, I started brainstorming. As I peeled back the layers to remind myself of what was underneath, the pages of my sparse, yet reliable notebook began to tell a story.

• A blank canvas and hours of free time
• Conversations that break the superficial seal
• Staying up until sunrise
• Banjos accompanied with a splash whiskey
• The bite of Lake Superior
• Summit
• Smartwool, Minnetonkas and Swix
• Writing letters, even those that remain unsent
• Solo international adventures
• The crackle of vinyl
• Helping someone that expects nothing
• The final countdown before exiting the sauna
• Witnessing someone you love risk it all to follow their dreams
• Summer dresses and rocking chairs
• My long haired wiener (dog)
• Reflective dive bar excursions
• The sun setting over Huron Bay
• Sharing genuine laughter, and tears
• Grabbing a partner in crime and hitting the open road
• Salsa dancing with strangers (and friends)
• Unfiltered, honest conversations with family
• Weekends that result in dreaded locks and dirt-caked soles
• Words that provide clarity
• Skinny dippin’, dippin’
• Boundary-free friendships

The list went on. As I continued to write I was reminded of all the amazing people in my life. I recognized all of the opportunities I’ve had. I reflected on how much the world has to offer. I embraced the “ahhh shit, that happened” moments. I laughed. I was reminded of one very important person in my life. Myself.

Day 10,181. What makes you feel home in this world?

Cherrettie